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“The Wank is for anyone who is not us! Great Day for a Great Club!”
-just another Wanker who is privileged to be a Rat!  |
THE WANK(s)
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4/12/07 Because I am a Wanker … and these are the breaks! Brothers in wanking, lend me your ears! I call you brothers in that every man is a wanker, but moreover because we are brothers in something much larger! Brothers of the Rat- a higher order of brotherhood and community than most you will find. Just ask any team who has been victim of a bad hazing from our sideline brotherhood and community while one of our legion of teams gives them a thrashing on the pitch! Brothers we are myriad, we are legion, we are strong! And as I will personally attest, when one of us falls on hard BREAKS (in leg, shoulder, head, and/ or spirit at the hands of a beautiful woman) his brothers are there for him! Everyone in our club has a story like mine, that’s what makes this thing real! Many people in the world have great individual lives, but far fewer ever get to be part of something like this! Since NO captains chose to send me their individual team’s wank… despite promises from many of them… I am going to briefly wank everyone at the midpoint of the season… don’t bother to thank me, you all have earned it! Fan Rats: Santo and Pete’s boys are mid table in 4th position at 2-1-1. I personally witnessed them suffer some bad calls- that could have easily seen them a place or two higher in the table with benefit of points they could have just as easily captured. Credit to the guys, who have been playing without their full roster for many, if not most, of their games… should all their team show, we might re-capture the premiership. The Fan Rat Wank goes to a certain A.R. who was just not up to the play… Sidewalk Café: Where to begin? For a team that has spent the past two seasons winning and accepting promotion EVEN WHEN THEY DID NOT WIN THEIR DIVISION the boys have hit a wall. They languish in the Premier basement, completely not used to being at the foot of the table. But the Sidewalk Café Wank would be a toss up between two things: 1. The relentless pursuit of the all time CVSA record for players out with broken legs … 2. This picture of the captain of our engine room, our midfield general, our schemer, and stud badass in general … StevieSachs 
3 Monkeys: I have not had the opportunity to see as much Tres Monos action as I have been privledged to see over the past couple of seasons, nor drink as much beer with them as I usually do. I miss that! The Wank on the Monkey boys: The only thing I can deduce from their record is this … after a fast 2-0 start, they have sputtered a bit and sit at 2-3. Just think about baseball! Kuba Kuba: At 2-1-2, the Kuba boys and girls are not the “ringer team” that they were accused of being by an opposing player during one of our two victories. The Wank: We are the only team in the league that can boast TWO GENERATIONS OF INJURED PLAYERS! Rat Masters: Again, another unknown commodity to me so far this season. I know that Daniel and Stanley had boasted some ringer players on the roster, and had some impressive comeback efforts…and a 4-0 thrasing over a Lions side. The Wank: Goes to a certain Masters team captain for trying to roster guys that have proven track records for no-show- despite being warned by his trusted friend who would show up if he had a broken leg! Jurassic Rats: 1-0, 0-1, 0-1, 0-1, 1-1, 3-1. Better late than never… late in the season, late in life… whatever! The Wank: goes to me for wanking a group of guys who can even walk at their ages, much less turn their season around (hopefully) with a nice 3-1 victory! That, and for my not coming yet to see you guys play! I am the wanker, and those are (just some of) the breaks! |
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- 04/12/07)