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LATEST NEWS
The Rat Masters saw their 11-game winning streak come to an end at the hands of eventual Third Division Champions Action FC by a score of 0:8. No excusues here. Just a thorough lambasting. Like the first game, goalkeeper Jeff Oberg supplied a healthy dose of profanity. The defending CVSA Cup Champions had the week off. With Roach barking orders from the sidelines (some things never change) the Rats got off to a confident start keeping the ball and finding their feet against the highly rated WPL outfit. Gilberto Béjarano (a.k.a Mr. Tequila) got on the ball and began to dictate the tempo early doors. Rumor has it that his Gatorade bottle was actually filled with José Cuervo and that was the reason he played with a smile on his face all night. The Rats had the better of it in the opening stages with Kwaku Adu-Gyamfi going close and Kofi Sey looking dangerous down the right wing. The final ball was letting the Rats down as LCC defended strongly. LCC started to come back into the game and had a 10 minute spell where they had a couple of half chances and were gaining in confidence. As the half time whistle blew, the game was still locked at 0:0 and a place in the next round was still up for grabs. Kofi A arrived via helicopter from is UN Summit meeting and was able to suit up and get involved in the second half. The Rats came out with great purpose and began to attack LCC down the sides, with Andy McIntosh starting to get in the game bit more ("just give it to Macca" I think was the basis of the Donkey's half time words of wisdom). In the 52nd minute, after another Rats attack, Kofi A was brought down in the area and a penalty was given. Up stepped the reliable McIntosh and the rest is history . . . 1:0 Rats. With their 'tails' up, the Rats could smell blood (and it wasn't coming from Rizzo's tampon - LCC #13) and went after a second goal. LCC started to play higher up the pitch and began to commit more players forward which left even more space for the speedy Rats (apart from Donkey) to exploit. Béjarano was out on the right and he clipped a beautiful ball into the box which hit the Donkey's head and with the LCC keeper stranded the ball nestled in the bottom corner . . . business as usual . . . 2:0 Rats. LCC began to get out their handbags and grew more frustrated as they were not getting any joy out of the Rats' back four. On the counter attack, Kofi A was played through and after a challenge with the 'keeper, Achempong came out the winner and passed the ball into an empty net . . . 3:0 Rats. Having been kicked around for 30 mins because of his ridiculous pace and his stance on Iraq, Kofi A had to take a seat to John Roach. I know what you're thinking . . . what the hell is Roachy playing for? Read on and you will find out. The Rats showed great discipline by continuing to defy all LCC's attacks and were determined to keep a clean sheet. Milorad Djoredivic was particularly excited as he claimed he has never had a 'clean sheet' since his arrival in Richmond . . . dirty Serbian bastard. After losing his balance, nearly getting an assist for an LCC goal and on the verge of pulling his hamstring, Roach managed to get in behind (as he often does in Richbrau) and showed everyone how to finish. A classic inside of the foot strike, low to the keepers left (and no, it wasn't the white boots) . . . 4:0 to the Rats. The Rats had several more opportunities to make the score line even more emphatic, but in the end, had to "settle" for just the four goals this time around. The Fan Rats now advance to the state-level semifinal round where they will meet another WPL team in the form of the Aegean Hawks. The game is scheduled for Sunday, November 21st up in Arlington.
Blustering in from the Fan With a rollicking song he sweeps along swaggering boisterously His face is weather beaten He wears a hooded sash With his black jersey about his back And a bristly black moustache He growls as he storms the country A villain big and bold And the trees all shake and quiver and quake As he robs them of their gold The Autumn wind is a Rat Pillaging just for fun He'll knock you 'round and upside down And laugh when he's conquered and won The Rat Masters cobbled together a team of haggard veterans on a cool night at Dorey Park. The game was meaningless in the standings, but meaningful in light of the opponent - Edo's Squid. Edo's Squid won the Fall '03 & Spring '04 Masters Division Championships; however with the division clinched the Rats knew that a full squad would be a luxury. Starting with nine men, the Rat Masters went down 0:1. Two quick strikes by Steve Gregory & Mike Hubermann put the Rats ahead 2:1. Mike Gregory executed a blind, backward header to extend the lead to 3:1, but Edo's struck back, putting the ball past our infirmed goalkeeper. The half ended at 3:2. The second stanza was chippy, as the Rats squandered multiple one-on-ones and shot the ball far and wide into the cornfields. Mike Gregory laced a 40-yard chip over a cheating 'keeper to finalize matters at 4:2. All of this was accomplished with Carter Berry in goal, his knee unable to bend as it was swollen stiff. Carter could barely walk across the goalmouth but still held Edo's to a respectable two goals. It should be known that this is the same Edo's squad that had t-shirts printed up with a depiction of a squid choking both a Lion and a Rat - an 0-2-0, 5GF/9GA tally against the Lions Masters and Rat Masters this season will probably make these shirts a bit scarce on the streets for the near future. And for some reason Edo's toned down the trash talking this time around; we guess five losses in the division will do that. The Autumn Wind is a Rat . . . ![]() clean up debris left at Dorey Park on Wednesday night, November 10. The debris is thought to be the remains of a dead giant squid.
The Fan Rats were brought back to earth courtesy of their most bitter rivals - Lions FC - 0:6 at Bryan Park yesterday. With the win the Lions take the Fall '04 Premier Division Championship. No excuses, the better team won. However the Rats incredible run must be recognized as well:
The streak is over; time to pick up the pieces and move forward. Sidewalk Café finished the Fall '04 Regular Season strong with a 5:0 win over Kingston FC. The final tally is 6-1-2, good for second place in the Second Division. Sidewalk faces this same Kingston team in the First Round of the CVSA Cup on Sunday November 14. Kingston knocked Sidewalk Café out of last season's Copa Bruce with a 3:1 beating at Oakwood last February. If you think you played a good game and want to be recognized in this space, please submit a legible entry. Rat Masters took its Fall '04 tally to 10-0-0 with a 4:1 victory over the Daredevils yesterday at Bryan Park. With the win the Rat Masters are the CVSA Fall '04 Masters Division Champions, dethroning Edo's Squid's run of two consecutive titles. Gilberto Béjarano, Derek McCown, Stanley Rich, and Mike Gregory all scored for the Rat Masters. The first trick came courtesy of LCC International of the Washington Premier League. The Fan Rats were ready to start defense of their state-level USASA National Amateur Cup championship Sunday afternoon at Dorey Park. After the date was set, LCC had problems from the attendance side, and even went as far as to claim that they would be forfeitting their local league game in Maryland. After complaining to the state authorities, the national cup game was postponed. LCC DID play their WPL game in Maryland, winning 4:1. The game was rescheduled for Thursday, November 4th at Dorey Park, but rain got in the way. Afterwards the LCC folks tried to cite a non-existent rule stating that since the November 4th game was postponed due to rain, the home team priviliges would transfer to them. Hmmmmm . . . let's get this straight:
On the "treat" side, from the time when he was a wee lad, Jimmy Gill wanted to be a footballer. He started out in the hardscrabble neigbourhoods [British spelling] abutting the Liverpool shipyards, where they used balled-up scrap iron for a football. From there Jimmy went to the Liverpool FC youth program, but the fast living in the States lured him across the pond. Now his esteemable talents are property of Sidewalk Café [courtesy of a free transfer], as all of them were needed. The 1990 CVSA MVP showed that he still had it, tallying a hat trick against the space cadets known as Galaxy FU on a tropical Sunday afternoon. Trailing 1:0, Francesco Ricardo Antonio Benito Abondanza LoPresti - who finally sired a male heir on his 472nd attempt - laid a beautiful corner across the box which Jimmy dispatched to the back of the net in short order. His second tally of the afternoon came after a scramble in the box as Jimmy neatly picked up the trash and slotted home the ball for a 2:1 advantage. After the spacemen equalised [British spelling], the final curtain was drawn in the 87th minute. After taking a ball from midfield and faking out eight men, Stanley Ri¢h uncharacteristically passed the ball before taking on the ninth; Jimmy faked and did a "rainbow" chip over the helpless netminder. Final - Sidewalk Café 3:2 Galaxy FU. The undefeated Rat Masters took their 8-0-0 record into a midweek clash against second-placed and bitter rival Lions Masters. This match would have serious repercussions in regard to the Fall '04 Masters Division race. After an early [1st minute] setback via a well-deserved red card, the Rat Masters faced an uphill battle all night. Gilberto Béjarano was the star of the evening, hitting the game winner in the 27th minute. The remainder of the match was a classic battle, with the Evil Empire going down 1:0 when the final whistle blew for the Rat Masters third consecutive shutout against the Lions Masters. The Rat Masters hold a 3-1-2 advantage since this rivalry renewed in the spring of 2003, and have held Lions Masters scoreless for 270+ minutes. THE WANK(s)
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