LATEST NEWS
08/25/05 - SUMMER '05 WRAP-AROUND:
- Congratulations to the Sidewalk Café Squad for capturing
the MDCVSA Challenge Cup!
Despite failing to secure a keeper for key matches (Jeff and Wes were off on holiday) we
managed to secure our only hardware for the `05 season, and did so at the expense of the
Lions . . . making it all that much sweeter.
- Sidewalk and 3 Monkeys have solid summer
sessions.
Cheers to both sides for solid summer seasons. Sidewalk under-achieved somewhat in 1st
Division with a 4-4-4 record, eventually falling to Atlas in the playoffs. 3 Monkeys did
well to stay near the top of 2nd Division with an 8-0-2 record, before surrendering a 2-0
lead against Metro Sting in the finals. Funny that Metro’s #1 rule (as posted on their
website) is “If you can't beat 'em at soccer, stay at the field later than them drinking
beer. We've always been able to win that battle!” Well Metro, great job on the come from
behind to win the final, but the we win the beer battle for a spilt on the day!
- Peter and Santo rebuild/re-tool the Premiers
. . . sans the tools!
Following the late season meltdown by our premier side, our very own Peter Kane and Santo Russo
have taken it upon themselves to raise the former State Champion side up from the ashes. You two
have our full support!
- Congratulations to “Coach Big Donkey”
Congratulations to the legendary Matthew Kirkpatrick on landing a job as assistant coach at
Longwood! Just know that we fully expect all the quality out of that program to come our way in
the near future!
Click here for more details.
THE WANK(s)
As this is the first (and no doubt last) Wank I have ever written, I think that it is
important to consider the many different kinds of guys who make up our club. There are
those who call it football, those who call it soccer. Those who see the first half of
'05 as a success, those who see it as a failure, and those of us who drink too much for
it really to matter. So for this Wank, I gathered many different opinions and
perspectives to assemble the 10 Wanks of the Spring / Summer `05 Seasons:
10. The referee who could not answer the question of whether or not players on the
sideline at the end of a playoff game could take penalties to settle the match in
Summer League play. He could not end the endless debate of whether or not there is
a difference in the rules between FIFA and CVSA 7v7 Summer ball. An honorable
mention goes to the referee who tried to cover for his cohort in #10 by saying that
it is not the job of the referees to know if there are any differences from FIFA to
CVSA 7v7 play. Well sir, you do service our league for pay. He continued by saying
“What do you want us to do, hold a meeting and discuss it? Why would we do that?”
Isn’t that what most businesses, schools, and other institutions do before launching
a major project or campaign?
9. The player(s) who would stand about and let one or two guys run this club. Worse
than that, those who criticize the way those who do run the club do things.
8. The Lion who bragged about his Masters team being a true Over 40s side, and then
brings down ringers from one of their premier teams to hand the only regular season
loss of the Spring `05 campaign to the Rat Masters.
7. The same Lion from #8 who went on to complain about Sidewalk Café using ringers
from the Fan Rats to win the Challenge Cup title over a Lions side from… you guessed
it . . . the premier division. He failed to notice the players brought on from . . .
you guessed it . . . our Masters side.
6. Guys who wear day-glow yellow, orange, or completely white, boots.
5. The 3 Monkeys’ crash in the D-2 final against Metro, despite being up 2-0 at
half. Almost as bad as the Masters crash against Lions in the Spring. Almost
redeemed by the fact that we stayed and drank till the park was closed.

4. The Fan Rats’ crash from the top of the Premier division, despite a huge lead in
points . . . not because they crashed, but how they crashed.
3. Ringers. Don’t forget the perspective given to us in the Written History of the
Fan Rats from the 97-98 season… “Ringers Suck!” They don’t show, or don’t care
when they do because “its only Sunday ball.” Yeah wanker, but it OUR Sunday ball!
2. There is no two…see #1.
1. Our very own John C. Roach. Atopping the charts at the insistence of several
senior club members. As one of them put it, “Roachy is #1, there is no second".
See you in the Fall!
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