3 Monkeys used the season opener to flex their muscle (and certainly go top of the table on goal differential) with an absolute drubbing of Conga United. All of the goals and scorers could be listed here, but then this might end up looking like an e-mail from a notoriously verbose Rat Masters captain who shall remain nameless. Great job Monkeys!

The new look Rats used some patient and clever midfield work, and very solid defending, to go out 1 and 0 in what was a very hotly contested affair against an impressive Big Nasty. The difference in the match came late via an absolute gem from Andy McIntosh. And by the way boys… that’s Macca- if your Nasty.

The Sidewalk Café side ran into a very young, and fit, Southside Nasty team, and despite an impressive double from Daniel Solomonsky, could not pull this one out. According to one prominent senior club member… “[We] we broke in a few new players and should be strong next week against a good side in Italia, vaffanculo stronzo!”

The Rat Masters, despite being on the back foot for much of the second half, managed to pull out a late winner on the backs of two guys named Bruce (insert jokes here) over a very impressive Metro Sting Masters side. The win was a small measure of revenge for the Summer D2 Final that Metro nicked from us with their come from behind win. After missing several first half chances in a very hotly contested match, the victory came by way of a Bruce Brewer smash into the upper 90. Don’t bother searching for this one boys, it will burn up on re-entry. Toward the end of the match, it looked like a surging Metro squad might pull one back, but the Masters found salvation in some solid goalkeeping and an important lesson given to us by our new sweeper… that lesson being that “Bones don’t break!”